Tips for Supporting Children in Transitions Between Homes
Written by Tara LeClere, MA, LPC
Kids In The Middle Therapist
Going back and forth between two homes poses many challenges for children. Changes in schedule and routine can increase a child’s stress and irritability, making the transition day (and even days following) very hard for them. There are many ways to decrease a child’s anxiety surrounding transitions and make it a smoother experience for them.
Visual Schedules
Having a visual schedule, such as a calendar on the fridge, can help children understand their time between homes and know when they will see the other parent next. If a child is older, you might consider having a shared calendar on your phones where both parents and the child can see and add to it.
Make Transitions Cordial
Witnessing an argument or fight between parents is always stressful for kids, and makes transitions even more challenging. Regardless of how you feel about your co-parent, never fight in front of your children or speak negatively about the other parent. Even if you think you’re being quiet and out of earshot, children are very observant and will pick up on it.
Have a Routine
It can take children 24 hours or more to adjust to being back at one home after spending time at the other, especially if the home environment and routines are different. Be mindful of how your child might be feeling on transition day (more irritable, tired, dysregulated?) If possible, adjust the day accordingly. Some children need to jump right back into routine and stay busy, while others might need a slow day to relax.
Allow Communication Between Homes
It is important for children to know they can talk to both parents while at the other’s home. This doesn’t mean they need to be on the phone for hours a night with the other parent, but allowing the flexibility for them to call and check in is powerful for children. It can make the time away from both parents seem shorter and feel connected to the parent they are away from.
Below are some books, both for parents as well as children, to further assist in working through changes in the family and the transitions that come with it.
Recommended Books for Adults:
Recommended Books for Kids:
